Lightning may never strike

It's just so horrible when you come to the conclusion you dont know who you are or what you have become. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and i have nothing to show for it. I stare at myself in the mirror and I'm like who the fuck is this guy. Its gotten to the point where I can't stand myself so I drink myself crazy and smoke myself distant. I'm losing it.

Thinking Like Everyone else

There I was sitting at the table playing cards with a couple of good friends. I have no idea where these explosive words came from but nevertheless they somewhat hurt. "Jeyson your so fucking weird" somehow seeped into my thin head and manifested its ugly self. I sat there for a moment digesting what was just said and realized that what I  was trying to be was like everyone else. That car ride back home was a very translucent drive. I just couldn't wrap that idea that I was becoming everyone else and leaving my real self out to dry. Well word to the wise people us "weird" people is what makes this "weird" planet of ours the shit. Give it up to the weird people!

The space between our lips

Zero
we have become
A negative
terrain we
tread upon
Pieces and Pawns
fill our
minds with
unbelievable
disasters
gray hurt
dark life
Our reflections
minus
Our mirrors
minus
your thoughts

Frozen Thoughts Frozen Walls

This Labyrinth
that
you put up
Does nothing
but
guide me
into
your chest
stop
This Ice Queen
pressures
me
into
thawing
her
I need her
not
her frozen
actions
Those Phantom
words
turn
me
into
this
Phantom Warrior

Fuel Fires me

My rocketship
failed
space is cold
your stars
your comets
Blind
Death brings
joy
to my empty
empty
eyes
Ground Control
flew away
and said
"This Final Mission
Will Always be
Yours"
Well my
Pale
Fingertips
will always
be yours

your faults my faults

Your hurtful
Expressions
Shine as though
Your life
Clings upon
Other lives
I hope you
know
that your bullets
Penetrate
Everything
we have
worked
on
My shield
once
believed
unpenetrable
sooths the
fact
Your misery
brings
memories
misery

In-case all our pixes

A rock
your glitter
flutters with
the ambition
of the leaves
in Autumns
dusk
But where
are we
at
A rock
you have
become
inside
I try
And
Tried
but this
Tragedy
mimics
me
endlessly
Please
Terrorize
anything
but me

*My attempt a poetry